3 Things to think for to build Emotional Resilience.
Have you wondered why there are some tough times in everyone’s life and does it hold any significance in our lives? There is close relation of resilience and tough times.
Tough times make us understand certain things or lead us to uncover certain aspects in life be it personal, professional, or spiritual life
Learning to process the pain and navigate through is an important skill that one should learn about. This leads us to the point of Resilience in simple words meaning to understand and process the pain.
Everyone has difficult times like this Covid-19 situation, one who emerges as the winner from this situation is the one who can navigate through this situation successfully.
Think of those times where you missed out on an opportunity or missed someone. If that pain is not processed then it eventually comes back at one stage or later.
In life, we should care and take reflection about the following questions
- What life are we living with selves?
- What life are we living with our loved ones?
- What life do we live in the world?
To this question, the only right answer is the answer which you feel right and you can happily accept this being irrespective of other’s perspective.
Let me ask you next question: Do you think you are resilient?
As per the survey conducted in the USA about 83% of people felt that they are resilient, after seeing such a high score these people were asked to take the resilient test. The result we drastic fall in the figures actually turned out to be only 57% to be actually resilient.
Here are some figures in terms of resilience in different generations 67% of the Boomer generation think of themselves as resilient. Comparing this to Gen Z this figure takes a fall to literally half that is around 37%. Only 37% of Gen Z consider themselves as resilient.
Famous investor Ray Dalio in his Book Principle mention an equation
Pain + Reflection = Growth
Most of the time when are in the painful situation we try to do three things
- Try to avoid the situation
- Distract ourselves from the situation
- Numb ourselves from the situation
At times a reflection on things and situations is hard. But try to remember the time when you tried to run away from a situation it has bounced back again. This shows that running is just a temporary solution.
When we start reflecting on things in the process we gain a new perspective and a new level of gratitude to life and self-awareness.
Self -aware is simply learning about yourself apart from the basic likes and dislikes, exploring facts about yourself, inborn talent, and passion. To put in simple words your Ikigai.
Every situation in life shows us somethings about us, considering this COVID situation.You may ask yourself
What do I value more of ?
Did you start valuing you more family, friends, the place where you work, or your personal time? Pain is an important place in building up resilience. But when you start thinking that pain does not have any value you will not see any value in it
What I value less of ?
In the process, you will understand what you value less and do not hold importance in life.
Reflecting is like a muscle and needs to be trained to be good at it. The process of reflecting can be started with small steps by trying to understand what did I learn from this?
In the process of reflection is thinking specific and in a direction, Which most of us procrastinate or overthink leading to thought all over and being aimless.
Leadership & Resilience
You are a leader, some you may question saying I don’t lead or I don’t have any teams under me. But you are missing an important point: you are leading your selves. Everyone is a leader in one way or another.
Even in pain leaders are able to know what they are working on. So ask yourself today which skill you are working on. Resilience in leadership is building on the vision and not letting go because of the pain in the movement.
Having a goal and a sense of direction will help you have the breakthrough that is needed to achieve the goals and that’s the secret of great leaders. Understand what quality is needed from you by people around.
Try to gain an understanding of how direction you want to grow and then you can stretch accordingly for your goals.
Legacy & Resilience
Lets try to imagine 20-30 years ahead and your children are in history class or grandchildren and they come to you to ask you about the historic year of 2020. The assignment to the children was to ask their parents or grandparent – “What did you do in 2020 “
How would you like to remember 2020 in the coming years? This is called future pacing and seeing the future will help you to make the right decision now.
Would you like to remember this year as you got more focussed, more skillful, more resilient, or just another year like the rest of the year? Start doing things that you want to feel in future
I would like to narrate a small story about distraction, a challenge conducted in Stanford 5 Dollar challenge.This was the challenge where the class was divided into 3 groups and each group was given 5 dollars.
The task was to earn maximum money through this 5 dollar within 2 hrs and then present to the class for 3 mins about how they went about making the money.
The first group ran to the store and mart to buy lime and washing materials to start a car washing service and lime juice stand which was ineffective considering the time and amount given to each group.
The second group started thinking about valuable 2 hr time and decided to book in restaurants where companies conduct their meetings and seminars. The group sold the optimum time slots to companies for their meeting. This generated more money compared to group one.
The last third group realized that 5 Dollar and the 2 hours was a distraction and the most valuable thing they had was 3 minutes in front of Stanford class. They decided to encash on this 3 minutes. A company would pay top dollar to be in front of the Stanford crowd. This resulted in making 650 $ through this idea. Ending up to be the winner.
Coming to the end of this post I would like to give you a small takeaway that you can think about after reading this post.
- Learn with drive
- Lead with humility
- Leave a legacy
” With New Day comes new Strength and new Thought”– Eleanor Roosevelt